I don't know where to begin. I never met the man in person and yet through his podcast, ANNCast, I felt like I knew him better than I know a fair number of people I've met face to face. If there were an entry for "Anime Journalist" in the OED, Zac's picture would be there.
Although I was chronologically just slightly older than Zac, he had been an anime fan far far longer than I, and knew far more about the art form of Japanese Anime than I could ever hope to master. He was passionate, sarcastic, sometimes infuriating, but I always respected the man, even when I disagreed with him. I knew he took his work seriously and his opinions were formed from years of study, observation and experience. Zac knew his shit forwards and backwards.
I was a listener of ANNCast from the very early days when Justin Sevakis was Co-Host, and I still cherish those very early episodes. I began avidly listening to ANNCast probably some time around 2009 or 2010. So for nearly 10 years now I've worked as a library clerk in a public library and sometimes weekly, sometimes monthly, but always eventually, I'd eagerly anticipate the next ANNCast release for Zac & his Co-Host (Justin, Jacob, Lyndzee) to drop some wisdom on me and make me a more informed fan and appreciator of art by episode's end than I was on the other side. If you love anime so much as to listen to a serial podcast about it, you are among the anime SuperFans. I also love the highly irregular Anime World Order and the even more infrequent GME Anime Fun Time; I'm a long time fan of the Anime Addicts Anonymous podcast and some older Anime podcasts that have long since pod-faded like 2Lazy2Botaku. But ANNCast was always my North Star, the creme of the crop. Nobody did it better...nobody.
Co-Hosts came and went by Zac was a constant. He shaped and crafted my love & passion for anime into a mature and considered thing. He challenged me, he made me think, reflect, consider, appreciate. He was an educator and journalist. He was unabashed humanist and outspoken lefty progressive. He was a member of the LGBT+ community and proudly pronounced himself "Queer". He hated Nazis and Edgelords and felt such deep empathy and compassion for people and valued artistic expression that captured the profundity and full gamut of the human condition. He was a man of letters and learning with a keen eye and a kind heart. He inspired so many other writers to do their very best, no less than any other Shonen Action Hero you might find in the pages of Shonen Jump or any anime adaptations thereof. He never took himself seriously and had a playful, irreverent sense of humor.
When I began working for the current public library system I still work for, I had an absolutely bully tyrant of a boss who took joy in making my work life a living hell. I endured a great deal of emotional trauma and suffering working for a manager I still believe was a low-grade psychopath. All I could do was outlast her....and I did. Ultimately her own hubris got the best of her and she got fired and I stayed. Living well has been the best revenge. But those first few years were made tolerable by the temporary escape afforded to me by a deep dive into ANNCast, where Zac and Justin would do deep dives discussing anime and the art of film generally. They provided a temporary refuge in a terrifying work life that helped me hang on to my sanity. I can't possibly thank Zac & Justin & Jacob enough for this. I learned so much from them and vow to continue learning as much as I can about the art form we both love(d). If I ever learn even a sizable fraction of what Zac knew I'll be a happy man.
I logged on to my work computer this morning and scanned Twitter briefly, seeing a tweet from Mike Toole that made my heart sink. I quickly consulted Anime News Network to get confirmation. I then sought out the tweets of Justin Sevakis, Jacob Chapman, the A.W.O. crew, et. al. I had just been thinking this week that "boy it sure has been a long time since the last ANNCast episode...." and now I had a better idea why. As I worked today I gave that final episode a listen...and it made me want to cry to hear Zac's voice one last time....especially his closing remarks to his loyal listeners, dispensing heartfelt advice to his listeners that he himself doesn't seem to have been able to follow himself...that made my throat catch a little. He never knew me, he did read a few of my questions on the air a few times...and sometimes I was so caught off guard and embarrassed I skipped past that part of the episode to the next question after mine because I'm a self-conscious freak that way. But I am going to miss this man so very much. I'm sad I'll never get the chance now to see him at AX or Otakon. I always stuck to Texas cons and was going to branch out to other Texas cons this year and maybe hit AX and Otakon in 2021. May yet someday, but it just won't be the same without Zac potentially there.
This evening I treated myself to some HEB Sushi (Salmon special plate) and took my evening walk listening to J-Pop tunes including some of the best songs from the Evangelion soundtrack. This evening I plan to devote to watching anime that I love. I think that's what Zac would've told me to do if he could. I do plan to get around to watching/re-watching some of his favorites...I may at least start Wolf's Rain in his honor, I do own it on Blu-Ray re-release. I already recently re-watched Evangelion via Netflix though I suppose I could pull out my Platinum Box set and watch THAT, with the original ADV Films dub (though I know neither Zac nor Justin are fans of that original dub). But anyway yeah, I'm going to enjoy MY anime tonight, even if Zac himself would turn up his nose at my particular shows (as he often did). He would still counsel me to follow my bliss, and so I shall.
Thanks for everything, Zac, and say "Howdy" to Satoshi Kon if you see him up there, buddy.
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